Sometimes I lose my life, only to find her again in a bar, in a conversation, in a completed task, or in a run through the park. She's mine because she has a will, energy, and direction. When she walks in the sand she leaves footprints and they're often crooked, stepping to a jazz that she listens to on her own. The rest of the time I leave scarcely a toe print-jutting off the edge of the communal impression where my shapen foot doesn't quite jive with yours and yours and yours. Its our path I suppose, but we possess it soulessly, without contemplation, with a murky purpose. And all the while phantom ways dance inside my head, leaving vanishing toe prints on my play dough brain and I feel them as something that could be, that could have been. But nothing more. The impulses fade before I can shift even a little toe. To translate a potential into action, imagi
ne the neural pathways that must be run. So we walk, trod, plod, as indicated, aware of a settling unease and oblivious, just oblivious to a source, an escape, to ourselves marching to no end. And then I feel a peck on the neck or forearm and warmth spreads down my spine, into my soles and into my soul. A peck from full lips, anxious and loving, reincarnated upon meeting my molting skin. She's my life. Today I found her in the restaurants and bars of quito, as I shuddered and extended an arm and bent in a demi-plie, listening to myself dancing on my brain. And she grabbed me tight in a sprawling waltz as a stranger laid his life before my eyes. Because I saw how much deeper my feet sink with her and how good the sand feels between my toes and how much happier the course. So me and my life, I think we might shine for a while now. I think we might laugh loudly, and I think we might hope not to get lost again



domingo, 21 de febrero de 2010

In some other world

In some other world
We're all growing old together
We were there when we all turned 21
Just like we were there when we turned 16
We watch clouds on blankets
As the wind rushes against our cheeks
And "how have you been?" has no meaning
None of us have learned what it means to live in the cold
and changes come in increments
as they should
No one asks what we will do
And we all know everything can be worked out
We carve deeper and deeper infinities inside each other's hearts
and no one can say that a gesture is her own
Yes, in some other world
I've been there often
in smiles and touches and understanding
But today I wonder
If in that other world 16 or 21 really had any meaning
If maybe our desperation, our dreams of separation
Carved the first nicks into which
the stream of our understanding has flowed
in that other world
Could I write poetry
Or taste coffee
Or feel so sad and alone and connected in suburbia
Under blue skies and palm trees on a winter's day?
Goodbye other world
remain in my heart
but today I wake up among paper bags
and plastic and strangers and a million good byes
and a million hellos
But today I will laugh and cry and taste and see
Because I know, deep in my heart, here,
and in some other world,
we're all growing old together

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